Here it is in a nice, encapsulated statement: I don't want to be at home, and I don't want to be at work.
Ok, so now what? According to all the 12 step programs I'm familiar with, admitting you have a problem is the first step. Would someone please tell me what the second one is?
OK, you all already know the overview on the home life, so I'll start with work.
Last Friday things went Kablooie. One of the three team managers that worked for me resigned. She offered to work her two week's notice, but I generally make it a practice to not do that - I figure two weeks of a "what are you going to do - fire me?" attitude causes more harm than the good that is reaped from having someone there for two weeks to show you where the spreadsheet that shows people's birthdays is.
So, there was a semi-panicked meeting. I say semi-panicked, because a contingency plan was already created. We decided to restructure, putting one manager where there once was two, and offering the third manager a non-management role. She declined - so I lost another person.
So, as of Monday, I'm now doing my job, plus the job of the manager that was moved to the newly created department. On Monday it was pure chaos - moving office, computers, phones, training for the moved manager, training for me on the details of her old role... well, you get the idea.
I think it's a lot to ask - to ask me to continue to do my full-time job, and now also do another full-time job. All in the same amount of full-time. Of course, I'm going on vacation, so I have to also train my boss to do the details of what I do, so that there's coverage when I'm gone.
All of these things are reasonable requests, I've been through lean times. Here's the problem - I don't like coming in anymore. In addition to being concerned about the work load, I was given a lecture on Monday morning about not being friends with people that work for me. I understand that from a business perspective, I do. However, when the lecture includes that I handled everything perfectly, that I obviously didn't let friendships interfere with my decisions, that I've done amazing things for this company for the last 3 years, but ... I heard, you did everything right, now don't do that again.
I don't have a lot of friends to begin with, and to be told that I can't socialize with pretty much every person I know in town - why bother? I LIKE these people, that's why I liked coming to my job. I'd probably be better off finding another job and keeping these people as friends... in any other city, I'd say that would be easier - but jobs that will pay my bills are hard to come by around here.
This is a pretty rambling, venting kind of entry, I apologize for it, but you might need this info to keep up in the saga.