Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Once Again

Time has gotten away from me and I haven't posted. Maybe it's less about having the time to write this, as it is having the time to stop and look around long enough to have anything worthy *to* post.

I had plenty of time yesterday. My son stayed home from school for the first time. I spent the day with him, in mellow activities (nope, no TV - was never even turned on!) I felt like a real mom - something that I don't get too often.

By real mom, I mean one that's there all day long. Now I know that there are all kinds of parents in the world, and I do what I think is my best for my kids. But, I have to work. I have to get them up early every morning (that they're with me) so that I can take them to before-school care and be at work by 7:30. After school they take the bus to after-school care, because school is out at 2:45, and I can't pick them up until about 5:20. By the time we get home, bathed, homework done, and dinner eaten - it's bedtime, and the routine has to start again.

Not yesterday. S woke up with a headache and a fever, so some Tylenol for him, and a relaxing morning for all three of us (once the requisite calls were made to get someone else to open the building for me at work). The kids sat and ate breakfast together. We took A to school just in time for her to have some time to relax and get adjusted to class, but not be so early the school looks closed.

During the course of the day, S and I read, talked about math, science, his upcoming birthday, etc. I was amazed at how much he knows already. He spent hours on my lap, and others self-entertained. At 2:30, he and I left to walk to his school to pick up his sister. (No after-school care today, either!) The three of us walked home, I gave the kids a healthy afternoon snack (grapes for one, strawberries for the other), the kids played, read, (still no TV), and eventually earned some computer time. I made dinner, did laundry, met with the insurance adjuster (groan - another day for that story).

I did nothing amazing. Nothing out of the ordinary - so why did I feel like such a super-hero?

Once again I'm both jealous and amazed at my friends M and J, who knew this feeling all along and chose to be real moms to their kids.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Birthday Party

I am frantically trying to figure out what to do for my son's birthday. Normally, I would plan a party months in advance, have it at my house, make WAYYYY too much food, have some games, some great prizes, and invite too many kids to come.

Well, this year, time got away from me. I have nothing planned.

I could still do a party at my house, but I don't want to. This party should prove to be very stressfull, and I don't want it at my house. I must include T. I must include T's parents. My parents will be in town. I choose to include D. I choose to includ D's parents (and sister and brother - who my kids just idolize). I choose to include D's daughter. I choose to include my friends.

Are you doing the math here? An ex set of in-laws, complete with ex-husband as well as my parents in the same location for any length of time is going to be enough to turn me into a creature that will resemble something out of mythical lore. The last thing I want to do is to do it in my house.

My house is my home, my santuary. Although there are occassional arguments that occur, my house is a place of peace and love. My house is the place where I get to watch my children learn and where they get to teach me valuable lessons. My home is where I get to spend quiet time with people I love. I don't want T. coming into my house and acting like a host. I don't want T. leading his parents around, talking to my friends, showing people where the bathroom is, and acting like he lives there. My house is where my family lives, and T and I haven't been family for many, many years.

So back to square one... what am I going to do for this birthday party???

Friday, February 15, 2008

The Weekend Approaches

After a lovely, perfect Valentine's Day Night (otherwise known as Thursday), D says to me "We have so much to do and no time - ALWAYS!"

He is absolutely correct. It is now Friday. He and I together will put in somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 hours at work, then will race home. After quick showers, we'll be off again - this time to make some final preparations for his daughter's birthday. From there we will go to a hockey game, while we will wait for one of our cell phones to ring, signally the arrival of said girl.

We'll go get her, take her back to my house and attempt to get her settled in to go to sleep. I'm thinking this might take a while - all three of us will be excited, we haven't seen her in a couple of weeks.

Eventually we'll all conk out - and our day will start again with an 8:00 AM (Seriously, is this necessary?) basketball game. Then it's a few hours of just the three of us again, then time to pick up my munchkins from their dads. The three kids will play well, will squable, will make up, will argue again, and generally have a fantastic time.

On Sunday, we'll be celebrating a birthday, in a low-key fashion - just one activity and then off to the grandparents for dinner, cake and presents.

Somewhere in all there, groceries need to be purchased, meals need to be made, laundry needs to be washed, floors need to be vacuumed and bathrooms need to be cleaned.

Yep - so much to do - and no time. Always.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day

Ok, yes, it's Valentine's Day - happy, happy, hearts, kisses, love, love, love...

Now that we've gotten that out of the way...

Now you all know that I don't mean it. I love love. I love romance. I love flowers, and presents that sparkle. I love notes expressing undying love, and I love being told that someone loves me.

What I don't love is why it has to be on one specific day.

I like Valentine's Day, I do... but not if it's going to be a huge contrast between February 13th, February 15th, and March 27th, April 17th, etc., etc., etc.

I remember reading once that Valentine's Day was the original Mother's Day. That it was designed to show love to your mom. Not sure when Victoria's Secret joined the party, but for all our sakes, I'm hoping it's much, much later.

Yes, I got D a Valentine's Day card, two actually, but that's it. No extravagant presents, no flat-screen TV, no surprise trips to Venice. I'm hoping we'll have a nice evening together, shopping for his daughter's birthday presents, and ordering her birthday cake, talking to my kids on the phone... wait a minute - yep, that could be any other day.

That's a good Valentine's Day to me.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

It's Been A While.

I have returned!

Where have I been? At the annual Tucson Gem and Bead Show. This is nothing like any other trade show in the world. (This statement is based both on my own observations as well as what I hear from everyone else.)

With most trade shows, there's a convention center and all the relevant vendors set up and hawk their wares.

In Tucson, in February, there is something like 35 shows going on simultaneously. Oh sure, there's one at the convention center. There's another one at every major (and minor) hotel and resort in the city. As you drive down the freeway, you see miles and miles of white tents. All of them have hundreds of vendors with strands of semi-precious, fine gems, finished jewelry, baskets of silver, etc., etc., etc.

I'm there for a week every year, meeting my clients, selling my company. I enjoy it, I like the face to face contact with the names I know, but by the end of the week, I'm Jonesing pretty bad for those babies of mine.

This year, there was another dimension added into the mix. I never missed T when I travelled - NEVER. However, this year, D was back home, and I was missing him, too.

So what happens when I get back? I rush through the stuff I *had* to get done, and run over to the after-school care to see my kids. I missed them so much! Neither of them wanted to leave yet. Neither of them wanted to stop what they were doing when I got there. I had to practically beg for hugs and kisses.

No worries, though, my son told me later that he hugged the van, because he missed it.