Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Children are Sneaky

Oh sure, they look all cute and innocent - but it's all an act. They're evil, I tell you!

Why else would my daughter know that if she asks to sleep in my room at bedtime, I'll say no. However, if she plays that "I had a bad dream" card after midnight, she finds herself tucked in and momma finds herself tired the next day?

She actually stayed fairly still, so I don't have any bruises to prove my theory, but the momma instinct kicked in full strength, and every time she got to close to the edge, I woke up with a start - terrified she'd plummet to the ground.

So today, you get no witty commentary, you may get some comics, depending on how much free time I have...

Happy Tuesday... SWEET dreams!

Monday, July 30, 2007

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Two Reasons to be Depressed

I went to K-Mart today to buy the kids the supplies they needed for school. $85 later, I have the new Princess lunchbox, the new football lunch box, the water colors, hand sanitizers, boxes of Kleenex, markers, plastic folders, pencils (both regular and colored) and the crayons.

I don't even include spending the money in my reason for being upset. Rather, it was the statement that the teenage clerk made. to my comment, "Wow, school is expensive". His response "Is this for high school?"

Reason for Depression #1: I look old enough to have high school kids?
Reason for Depression #2: This kid was probably just out of high school - does he actually think that crayons and lunchboxes are part of the curriculum? What are they teaching in HIGH school now?

I'm going back to Wal-Mart, where they ask me if I'm 18.

Saturday, July 28, 2007


I always thought I knew the kind of parent I wanted to be. You know they type - the sexy MILF, the woman who doesn't look old enough or fat enough to have a kid. At the same time, she's totally oblivious to how she affects men. Her children are always well groomed, in matching, color-coordinated clothes, smiling, polite, etc.

All that changed over an Orange Mocha Frappuccino Light this morning.

The woman was obviously middle-aged, a bit overweight, not especially fashionable. The kid was wearing black pants and a T-shirt. Nothing remarkable - except that I couldn't take my eyes off of them. The woman was animated, making large-sweeping gestures with her hands. The kid, or rather the teenager, was totally engaged; responsive, involved, and enjoying himself.

When it was time for the woman to leave, the teenager, who was actually starting his shift at Starbucks, showed no signs of embarrassment, didn't even look around the room as he gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Now, *that* is the kind of mom I want to be. (Of course, if I'm a MILF too, I won't complain!)

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Born Again

No, not in a religious way.

It feels like I've got a newborn in the house again. S is sick. Has been sick since Sunday - and is currently unable to sleep through the night. When we were flying home, A was sick, and I just assumed this was the same thing, but now I'm not so sure.

A had a fever, and a slightly upset stomach (threw up once - in the airport - lovely), but the Tylenol always worked, and she was fine after 3 days. S is still running a fever. Or is running a fever again. I'm not sure.

For the last two nights, I haven't slept more than an hour and a half at a stretch. That's probably why this Blog entry is lacking it's usual wit and spark.

Monday night we had our first real storm of the monsoon season. So, between the thunder and lightening, the power outage, the screaming child (afraid of the power outage), the sick child (ok, same child, but different issue), the howling dog, and the fact that a flea fart can wake me up - I didn't sleep much.

Last night, the sick child went to sleep - I woke him up around 9:30 to give him some more medicine, to hopefully get him through the night. I went to sleep around 11. He was up at 12:15 - his clothes had been soaked through because he broke the fever, so he climbed into bed with me. At 1:00, the dog started barking, and by this point, S was getting stuffy again and kept trying to breathe through his nose, which made him frustrated and he'd whimper in his sleep. Since I had to get up to get the dog to quiet down, I crashed on the couch for a little while. Very little while. S needed water. Got him the water. Encouraged him to go to the bathroom, was denied. A little while later, I convinced him that his bed was dry - and wouldn't he like to sleep there? He went back to his own room, but needed something else around 4 - for some reason - I can't remember what. At 6:00 I heard him on the couch - snorting and whimpering again. The damn fever was back!

I tried to get him to eat a banana, he took a few bites, but that was it. He is drinking water though - a lot of water - so at least I know he's not dehydrated.

I get dressed, and run to Wally World to get some Tylenol plus Cold medicine - I wanted to help with the fever and the stuffy nose - and all I had for that was expired Children's Motrin Cold, which I didn't want to give him on his empty belly.

I get asked at Wal-Mart if I'm 18. Apparently, people are now getting high by drinking children's cold medicine. Ok, you all did get the part about me being asked if I was 18, right? Just checking.

I got back, medicated my kid, gathered my belongings and had to go wake T to take over. I want S to get to a doctor today, I think it's a sinus infection. (First thought was Strep - but the symptoms aren't quite right).

Oh, and did I mention that while looking for something to help my sick little boy, I stumbled across T's porn collection last night. Lovely.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Bad Luck

Ok, I'm not really a superstitious person. In fact, in high school, I did an entire report on the origins and fallacies of superstitions. However, this Friday the 13th kicked my butt.

Well, technically, it was the week of the 13th - I had bad luck starting on Monday night. More on that later.

On Friday the 13th, I finally made it back to my office, where I can't help but feel that my travel delays were not exactly believed 100%. Not that I can blame anyone, I don't believe them myself, and I was there!

Anyway - I'm getting through my in-box, I'm trying to clear out my e-mail, etc., and we lose power. COMPLETELY. We have a generator (and a purportedly gorgeous generator guy) so that kicked in and we were able to limp along. However, the less important things aren't on the generator, so that meant no music, no lights, but worst of all no air conditioning. (Did I mention that it was 98 degrees that day?)

Power comes back on, and we get nice and cooled off. Near the end of the day we had an all-hands on deck situation - so I was needed in multiple places at once. We get through that, and I end up having to stay late to get my reporting done - so I leave around 5:40 that evening. (Of course I'd come in an hour early anyway!) so it was a very long first day back.

Unfortunately, the weekend wasn't exactly the time to relax and recuperate from our trip. We had to make the choice to put down one of our dogs this weekend. She was 15 years old, and had a good life, but that doesn't make it any easier. It was especially tough on T, who'd had her since she was a puppy and S, who is a sweet, sensitive boy. They both went to the vet to say good-bye, where I stayed home with A, who was sad, but not as affected by this. A had a party to go to, which served as a great distraction for her for the rest of the day and T and S went to go play golf - some nice bonding time, and hopefully helped them relax, too.

The bad luck continued the next day when S woke me up bright and early - with a fever. I spent most of the day dosing him with Tylenol and trying to force fluids down his throat. T went to work, and I played low-key bubble blowing games with the kids, then let them lie down on the couch for a movie. Amazingly enough, they both went to sleep pretty early, which was surprising since they both napped during the day - not a typical thing for them at all!

Of course, he's still sick this morning, and T has him at home. T worked last night, but with all the extra time I missed because of the travel fiasco, I couldn't imagine even attempting to call in to work today. Hopefully, S will sleep some, and T will be able to as well.

I will post about the trip, and about the delights of travelling with United Airlines. Don't worry - you won't miss out on a thing. However, as I'm still playing catch-up at work - that'll have to wait for another day.