I hate my body. I always have. It doesn't matter if I weigh 150 pounds or 117 pounds (and yes, I've been both within the last year), I hate it. I know that I have a distorted self-image. Do we all? Is there any person out there who can look at themselves naked in the mirror and say, "Damn! I look great!"? Ok, let's be more specific - are women capable of this? Or is this just something else that fad diet programs and surgical centers are trying to persuade us is a real possibility.
In my case, it's more about what I think than anyone else. In other instances - other people's opinions matter to me. I look for approval in my career, I look for compliments in my cooking, I look for people to tell me how great my children are, but when it comes to my body - nobody else knows what they're talking about. People tell me that it doesn't look like I've put any of the weight I lost back on - I dismiss this as them being nice and I know the truth. People (even in doctor's offices) tell me they wish they weighed what I do - I think I chose the wrong doctor's office if they think this is good.
I do not walk around my house naked. Again, not because anyone else might see me and think "Ewwww" - but because *I* might see me (damn mirrors) and think "Ewwwwwwwwww!" (Had to throw in a few extra, there).
Now, I know there are health risks of being overweight - but I'm not really OVER weight - just got a little extra. I have the energy to keep up with my family, I don't get sick a lot, I have low blood pressure, low cholesterol, I don't eat red meat, I walk and hike fairly regularly.
So, here's my question for the day. I'm on yet another healthy eating kick (it's what helped me lose the weight in the first place) - but why? If I'm going to feel the same way whether I've a BMI of 18 or of 24 - if I'm going to feel the same way in a size 4 or a 12 - why bother? Why give up all the foods that I love and that everyone else seems to get to enjoy if my internal picture of me is never going to develop into anything else?