Thursday, November 15, 2007

Paperwork

Ok, so I met with the Certified Paper-Pusher yesterday. In the hour before I was going to see her, I was in a fantastic mood. I felt like a kid before Christmas. Why? I mean, technically, shouldn't there be some sadness? Some regret? Why am I feeling so good about my marriage ending? I know, it's been over for a very long time. Everyone knew it. I knew it. T knew it. The kids knew it. I think the mailman knew it.

Anyway, I meet with her, she checks through my paperwork, rewords a little bit here and there. Puts all my forms in order - tells me how many copies of each section I need, explains the time-line, tells me what I need to do next. Made life very easy.

So, here's what has to happen now. I have one more section to complete (it's only 2 pages), and then I get to file the paperwork and pay the $226.00. At that time, I get to sign up for the state-mandatory parenting class. Then T needs to be served. The easiest way to accomplish this, is for him to go with me to the courthouse and sign the acceptance of service (as well as the custody and parenting plan). Both of these things have to be signed in front of a notary or court deputy. The next best option is to just hand him the stuff, have him sign it in front of a notary himself, and file it at the court. Here's the problem there - what if he doesn't do it? What if he just sits on the paperwork? The mandatory waiting period is 60 days. It doesn't start until he is officially served (which means - his signature is notarized!) The least favorable option (at least for me) is to have him served by the Sherriff's department or a Process Server, this would have to be done at his place of employment, since when he's home, it's either at night or when he has the kids. Neither would be a really nice thing to do.

So, when leaving the office of the paralegal yesterday, still riding my really good mood, I called T. Of course, that was a mood killer. He was not willing to commit to meeting me at the courthouse. He said "we'd talk about it". Silly me, I thought that's what we were doing on the phone.

It's now Thursday morning. I'm filing the paperwork tomorrow. I still don't know if it's going to be a voluntary service, or if I'm going to have to have him served.

Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. I'm (hopefully) starting my divorce waiting period, signing up for my parenting class, and then going to my son's Thanksgiving play, where he is in the pivoting role of "Narrator #1". I'm quite sure it will be Tony-worthy.

2 comments:

alienbody said...

First, NOW I know why you started your email to me OMG! That's the OTHER thing that got into you...a little taste of closure.

Second, just try to remember that you can't 'manage' T. during this process. I have a feeling he might be grasping for a bit of control and you might just need to give him some.

Chickenbells said...

It's called RELIEF...believe me...I was sad after I got all the paperwork in order...after I knew I had taken care of myself...then I afforded myself the luxury of feeling it all...

If T won't talk to you about the paperwork...tell him you're taking it to the police to have him served at work...that should perk him up. He also has the right to sit on the paperwork and THEN pay a fee to have it all reversed and then put back into his control...and then change some stuff in the paperwork and have you "re-look" at it (this is what I had to do after my EX filed first...after I told him to let me do it because I was using a lawyer...idiot...but the fee is about $250.00 and I can't imagine T would pay that..it's a little steep) And I swear that after you serve someone in this state they only have 30 days to respond to the petition...at least that's the way it was 2 years ago...

Lord...I've been divorce that long? Good heavens...