Tuesday, August 7, 2007

A Long Overdue Update

Ok, so it's not that it's been that long since I posted an entry. It's what I haven't said in those entries that's overdue.

T and I split up. I know, I'm sure you're all totally shocked and appalled. Ok, maybe not. He and I split up a few weeks ago, and he moved out last weekend.

I know I'm supposed to be feeling sad for the end of my marriage, but why do I feel like doing the Watoosie? (Or some similar dance, that I actually KNOW how to do?) In many ways, my life has gotten harder - but I feel so much lighter. I feel like I want to come home again, even if it's just to do the laundry, cleaning, reorganizing, that I've been putting off for so long. I want to be there -I want to be with my kids, without thinking that whatever I say is going to be taken in 12 different ways (and none of them accurate). I am going to be able to have conversations with the children without anyone else interrupting because they need attention too. I'm going to be able to believe what people in my house say. I'm going to be able to build a safe, relaxing, fun home for my children.

The big thing is how the kids are doing about all of this. They cried when we told them that he was moving out - for about 10 minutes. Then they wanted to go to Del Taco. They are given every opportunity to ask any questions, talk about their feelings, but so far the big questions have been: From A: "How did daddy move that couch by himself"? and from S: "We have two pets at daddy's house, and only one here. That's not fair - we need another pet at this house." Ahh... the big issues...

I have so many ideas rolling around in my head - I want to paint, redecorate, reorganize, I need a lot of money. Donations are welcome!

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