Friday, November 16, 2007


Life was so simple, once upon a time. All I needed was my thumb to suck, a stuffed animal to cuddle and a book to read.

Today, I had different needs. I needed my denim skirt and shoes that make clicky-sounds. The shoes make me sound intimidating, and I needed that today. The skirt is a size 4, and it's loose on me. I needed that today, too.

Last night, T called me to tell me that he no longer was going to agree with our agreement on the house. (The agreement was made in 2004 when we split up, and it said that he gets 1/2 of the down payment of the house, but that's it.) He decided to tell me last night that he decided that wasn't fair anymore.

He made a few suggestions, which I did not like. One was to give him more money. One was to give him a percentage of the equity in the house as it was now. One was to give him a percentage of the equity in the house whenever I sell it. I understand that it's a community property state. I understand that LEGALLY he's entitled to half of the value of the house. However, let's revisit the reality, shall we?

We bought a house in California together, before we were married. I put down about 2/3 of the down payment, he put down about 1/3. We both were working. We had one child. We both were working. I paid about 60% of the mortgage, he paid about 40%. We had another child. He stopped working. I paid the bills. He stayed home three days a week with the kids, the other two I paid for a babysitter. I still paid the bills. We sold the house two years later and made some money on it.

We lived off that money for about 8 months, before we both found jobs in Prescott, where we live now. When we bought the house currently in dispute, we used the rest of the money from the house sale in California as the down payment. From that time, I paid the mortgage. Oh, there were a few months, where T made a moderate effort to help, he paid about 30% of the mortgage for about 3 months out of the first six. Then we split up, I paid the bills. He lived somewhere else for about a year, and I let him move back in. I paid the bills. After that, he was laid off. I paid the bills. He went back to work. I still paid the bills. I had the yard landscaped. I paid the bill. Things went wrong, I had them fixed. I paid the bills.

So our final agreement is that I will pay him the $28,000 we agreed on. I also agreed that if I sell the house within the next 5 years, I will have to pay him another $15,000.

The part of this that bothers me, is that he knows that he didn't pay for the house. He knows that he shouldn't have a claim on any equity from the house. However, the whole reason that he wants this agreement (I think) is so I don't sell the house and buy something new with anyone else.

Ok, the skirt and shoes are helping, but maybe a good thumb-sucking wouldn't hurt.


Chickenbells said...

Nice that none of that matters isn't it? My EX was entitled to HALF the stock in the shop...I had it both before we were married and he never helped or payed at plan was though, if he ever tried to lay claim was to give him HALF of the clothes that were in here...there you go buddy!

alienbody said...

Not having lived through anything like this, my opinion is not an educated one and I cannot speak from experience...which definitely changes the way you look at the situation. However, I can't help but think if the tables were turned that there would be a different perspective on it.